What are the Qualifications for Being the Worst Mother in the World? Because I Think I'm It!

This weekend there was a neighborhood yard sale. Quite a few families participated, except for us because, as usual, I could not get myself "together" enough to put anything out to sell. I'm pretty pathetic like that (blogging about it on here doesn't exactly help). I'm always a mess, always disorganized, there is crap EVERYWHERE in my house~in the family room, on the counters, in the living room, on the stairs, in all of the bedrooms...blah, blah, blah... Well, this disorganization really does a number on my mind some days and Saturday, the day of the yard sale, was one of those days. I get to the point where I don't know where to start, my hubby was out clearing an area of the yard for a shed we ordered, and I was trying to pick up the house in between checking on the kids (especially the twins) and/or making sure my hubby knew where they were. It's not really a recipe for successful cleaning.

In between my checking and occasional cleaning Patrick, Sean and Caroline were running up and down the street checking out all the crap that my neighbors were selling. Sean, my most sensitive one, came back at one point to tell me that one of my neighbors had this "awesome glass thing with Mary and Jesus on it" that he wanted to buy. I told him that under no circumstances was he to buy this "glass thing" and that I DID NOT want it in the house. We have enough crap of our own that I can't get organized. He headed back down the street with two of the boys from the neighborhood and I went out to run an errand. When I came back he was carrying a brown paper bag and announced to me that he had purchased the "glass Mary and Jesus". As I was about to shoot back that I had told him I didn't want it in the house, my neighbors daughter commented with excitement that "yeah, he got this glass Mary and Jesus thing that's awesome!" Even with that, I shot back to Sean that I had told him I did not want it and he was not to bring it into the house. He responded that he did not buy it for me, he bought it for him and that he wanted to put it in his room. I could immediately see the hurt in his voice and in his body language.

Not one to let anyone miss out on enjoying the miserable mood I was in, I walked to the backyard to inform my husband of how annoyed I was that the kids were out buying other people's crap and that I was upset with Sean for doing what I had asked him not to do. He informed me that Sean had been all excited and told my hubby that he had purchased the glass Mary and Jesus for me. This I already knew from the way Sean had responded to my hearing he had purchased it. I had felt bad at that point, but unfortunately it took hearing it from my husband to make me really feel like the worst person ever.

I let it go and did not say anything for the rest of the day. The next day Sean and I were talking about an incident that happened with two of the neighborhood boys he was with. I was asking if they were being mean and he told me that one of them had said to him that the glass Mary and Jesus was the "stupidest thing he could have bought." My heart now fell to my feet. I fought back tears, told him that the boy was wrong and mean for saying what he said, ran downstairs and hung the glass Mary and Jesus (actually a stain glass picture) in one of the kitchen windows as fast as I could get it up there. I told him that I LOVED it and that it would be staying in that window forever~and it will (at least until someone breaks it, which is bound to happen around here). I then apologized to him and TRIED to explain that I am frustrated with how I can't get organized, but that I took it out on him, which was wrong of me. Even with that, all I have on my mind is how I cannot take back any of what I said to him on Saturday. He is the kindest sweetest boy and I know I made an awful impact~hence Worst Mother of the Year without question.

Now to go do what I should be doing so that I don't get in such a negative mood again (at least not for this reason)!

Can I Not Even Take a Shower???? Really???

This week is vacation week for the kids. It really has not been a bad week at all. The hubby took off Monday and Tuesday and we did some day trips, which the kids and we enjoyed. Wednesday was another story. Hubby went back to work and all hell broke loose~I swear they do this for my benefit only.

It was about 9 o'clock in the morning and at this point they had been sitting in front of Wii for about 3 hours (I cannot drag myself out of bed at the ungodly hours that they do), so that was enough. My hubby had gotten them breakfast and some of them dressed before he left for work, so they weren't completely ignored all this time. I cleaned up breakfast and finished dressing those who weren't when I woke up at about 8 AM. At about 9 I told the boys to shut off the Wii and go up to make their beds while I got into the shower. This is when everything went wrong.

As is typical, once I am unable to control what is going on, they started to fight. Patrick began taunting Sean and not letting him make his bed. Sean kept running into the bathroom to tell me, while I kept asking him to do his best to stay away from his brother until I was done. Unfortunately for all of us, they share a room, so this is nearly impossible when making beds. Chaos could be heard as I tried to quickly finish my shower the only time I (sort of) have to myself all day. The next trip into the bathroom Sean informed me that Patrick had dialed 911 and that a call had come into our phone that said "Massachusetts". Well, I'm not sure of everywhere else, but that always means a cell phone. My immediate thought was that Patrick was bluffing to scare his brother and that the call just happened to come at the perfect time and was from a friend.

Boy, was I wrong! Not only did he call 911 but there was an officer at my door as I found out from Brendan who was running back and forth in his diaper (ok so he wasn't dressed yet now that I think about it) from the door to the bathroom giving me the update. Caroline is now hiding behind the door of the bathroom crying hysterically and the boys are hiding upstairs. Now I had decided to take a shower in the downstairs bathroom so that I could hear what the twins were doing. This was a bad mistake as I have no curtains on my dining room windows through which a visitor can see straight into my hall where my stairs are, the stairs that I now needed to go up to get a bathrobe to answer the door for our "visitor". I yelled for someone to get me a bathrobe with no success. Fortunately, I remembered that I had dropped one in the living room in a failed attempt to put it away recently. Never have I been so happy to have something sitting on my floor. I threw it on and ran to the door to greet a not so happy police officer.

I'm not sure how long this poor man was knocking on my door, but by the time I got there he was BANGING! I mean close to knocking the door down as he explained to me as nicely as he could. To make it worse (can it get any worse??) I'm not even sure how well I had wrapped the bathrobe and the twins were pining at me to pick them up, which I did to seem sort of motherly as I threatened to hurt the others. I'm just hoping I did not expose myself to this officer. On top of that, my neighbors (and some other moms from town) do a boot camp at one of my neighbors houses (a boot camp which I may have been at had the kiddos not been off for vacation). Of course, the trainer had sent them running up my street as this was all going on. I'm surprised some of them didn't trip over themselves as they tried to figure out what the cop was doing at my door instead of watching where they were running.

I asked the officer to come in to let the kids know how serious their antic was. He would not. He did not want them to be afraid of police officers. Really? Because I do! He asked me to let them know that he was close to knocking down the door (yeah~he was out there that long) because all he could see were the twins and he did not know if I was "on the floor" somewhere in the house.

After my lecture from this officer, I went off to lecture (um~berate) my kiddos! I don't think I've ever been this upset with them. As my dear friend Kristin said, we will be laughing about this in a month (some others~the moms who were running up my street for instance~are alreay finding humor). You think? Because I'm really not finding any part of this situation funny right now!

For now I made Patrick (the sole culprit as I later deciphered) write an apology to the officer, chief of police and marched him down there to hand deliver it and apologize to the dispatchers as well. He is also grounded from Wii, tv, DS and friends for the next two weeks.

We'll see how long I get order after this ordeal. They were EXTREMELY well behaved yesterday after all of this, but I've noticed some slipping today.

Happy Birthday to the Twins!

The twins turned three almost two weeks ago. I honestly can't believe it and am a little sad. By the time any of the other kids were three I had another baby (in the last case babies)! I can remember my pregnancy with them so clearly~not only because of the fact that it wasn't so long ago, but that it was so very eventful from the very beginning. I was sicker than I ever was with any of the other kids, more tired, blue (don't recall feeling that way during a pregnancy with any of the others) and just plain blah! I was HUGE! I had gained 10 pounds in my first month and 13 by the time I went to the dr. for my first appt. at 10 weeks. I had people I didn't know very well asking me if I was pregnant at 6 weeks. I was already out of my regular clothes at that point. I just thought it was my fourth (technically fifth) pregnancy and that I "popped" sooner! At my 10 week appt. the nurse practitioner INSISTED that I go for an ultrasound the following Monday to check for twins. I INSISTED that it wasn't necessary because twins do not run in my family and I had three little ones at home. It was going to be difficult finding someone to watch the other three once a month~forget twice in a matter of 3 days. I came back at 14 weeks and went first to have an ultrasound. I recall telling the dr. that we were there to check the size of the baby because I had gained so much weight and was showing so soon. He put the little hand held part of the ultrasound on my stomach and pulled back right away. Having had a later miscarriage, I panicked and asked what was wrong. He asked if this was our first ultrasound and it was. He put the ultrasound back on my stomach and responded "nothing's wrong, it's just that there's two (or twins)". I was shocked~even though I was there to check for exactly that! I started to cry and panic. Brian was thrilled and very proud of himself (I quickly learned from the dr. that father's have NOTHING to do with there being two babies and that it has everything to do with the mother). That was the first deflated balloon of the day for him. Next I went on to ask my overly excited husband how he thought we were going to support two additional babies~we would have two babies to feed, two preschool tuitions, two sport fees, two college tuitions...I was in a panic. Also, how do you care for two babies at one time???

All of those concerns took a backseat as the pregnancy progressed. I was exhausted!!!! I have NEVER been that exhausted in all my life nor with any of my other pregnancies. It was an excruiating 9 months. I developed pneumonia, had to have a root canal, had a couple of early contractions that I went to the hospital to be checked for and couldn't move in my third trimester. I always loved being pregnant~this time I hated it!

Brendan and Audrey you were born at 38 weeks. You held on until the end~Audrey held on longer than that during the delivery! I delivered in the OR with tons of lights around and NO HEAT! I was freezing! Several drs., a student and an ultrasound on hand to locate Audrey who would NOT come out after Brendan was born. She just wasn't going to leave me. Some things never change!

These first few years have been tough and the other kids have suffered from lack of attention, but even with all of my concerns and any attention the three older kids did not get, it was all worth it! The dynamic of our family is AWESOME! They fight~but they love each other immensely and always have a playmate. Brendan and Audrey are so awesome to listen to. I really need to video more. There is nothing like two babies the same age growing up together~even ones who are a year apart. For all you mothers out there with kids one year apart~IT IS NOT THE SAME AS HAVING TWINS! I mean no disrespect because raising kids is tough no matter how many you have, but the dynamic of two the exact same age is just a whole other story.

Happy Birthday to my babies! I can't believe you're 3! Dad, Patrick, Sean, Caroline and I are so fortunate to have you in our lives! We wouldn't have it any other way!

Don't Ya Love a Bargain!!!

I know I do! Went shopping for birthday presents for the twins tonight and came home with a winter coat for my oldest-originally $60.00-for only $7.99!!! No kidding! Gotta love it! It's such an adrenaline rush to get deals like that~actually makes me want to shop more(not that I need a reason)!

Quote of the Day

While looking online for shoes to go with Caroline and Audrey's Easter dresses, Audrey yells out and points to a pair of shoes on the computer~

"I can't believe my eyes! Look at those shoes!"

Not even sure where she heard that phrase from. She doesn't miss a beat and is such a little character.

How to Explain Death to a Child

I feel like I'm being too serious with my posts (and this certainly is a serious one). I would like to be more witty and fun, but my main purpose of this blog is to keep track of my children's lives and the events in them. Tonight I had a doozie.

My oldest's mood deteriorated this afternoon after he got home from school. He and I had butt heads over his use of the computer (not like moms been on too much today) and lack of helping me with any chores. He was grumpy and downright mean to me. Finally, at bedtime, he asked if he could talk with me in his room. After some back and forth that made no sense to me, he finally admitted that he had been thinking of his grandfather who passed away four years ago. At the time my son was 5~who knew what an effect it would have on him. It has become obvious, especially tonight, that he is at the age where he is putting a lot of thought into life, love, loss and all that comes with the loss of a loved one.

Tonight he told me that he is bothered by his inability to change things in his life. After some questioning, I found that he is feeling guilty about decisions he has made (not serious decisions-but ones a 9 year old would be bothered by like not showing respect to his mother). He is obviously becoming concerned with the mortality of me, my husband and his other grandparents. And feeling guilty about times when maybe he hasn't behaved for us. I told him that, although he can't take back poor decisions he's made, he absolutely can change that behavior in the future and that we all need to work on that (including me). I told him that, although I wish Grampy were still with us, he lived a long, happy life with his family and he was fortunate with all he had. I told him that death is a part of life, but if you've lived a long, productive, happy life then that's all that matters. I told him that his father and I plan on being here for a long time and he is not to worry about us.

This boy is so sensitive and so much more in tune than I give him credit for. He told me that he is upset that his Grampy never got to meet the twins and hasn't been able to share any of the important accomplishments in his life. I tried to explain to him that his dad and I feel the same way, but that Grampy is watching over us and does see what he and his brothers and sisters are doing every day. The disappointing part for us is that we are unable to share these moments with Grampy and see for ourselves how proud he is of us.

My heart broke for him because I remember having these same feelings after my first granmother past away. Being a parent is so difficult at every stage and I can only hope that I did right by him with our conversation.

Have I Mentioned How Much I HATE Stomach Bugs???

Ok, I promise this will be the last time I blog about this stomach bug. I now hate it for another reason than just cleaning up after the kids (and the fact that my poor kiddos are just so miserable). Three of them have been throwing all day today, which means I have done more loads of laundry today than I have in the previous nine years! My house is on septic. Septic and homes with seven occupants, 3 of whom are vomiting hourly and, therefore, requiring multiple loads of laundry be done in one day is like oil and water~they just don't mix.

Add to that the intense rain that has been pouring down where I live for 6 of the last 11 days and is expected to do so for two more. When the rain started 11 days ago it was so bad that there was severe flooding throughout my state. Houses in my neighborhood, and throughout my town, were severely flooded. My husband and I bought this house four years ago and, after coming from one of the other homes in town that took on water, have been proud to say that we have never had a water problem. That was, of course, until today. After about the 10 load of laundry today (seriously, I was that far behind nevermind all the sheets and towels I've had to clean today), I was just in the basement to find water backing up from the septic through the floor where the wall and floor meet.

There are three more of us that have not gotten this "bug" yet. Lets hope we don't until the sun comes out to dry up my backyard because this is going to be one disgusting house by the end of all of this!